i’m sitting at maccas before work (oh yeah, i got a job!!!) and trying to think how to start writing this post.
deciding to start this blog was an impromptu decision i made in 2016. i did absolutely no research before jumping in 😂 i honestly didn’t even know book blogging was a Thing. to be completely transparent one of the main reasons i started this blog was to try and use netgalley. i never expected to find a community who has helped me feel less alone. from one of my very first posts i felt so welcomed it was almost overwhelming.
my journey with blogging has had a lot of ups and downs. i think the start was a lot better than the ending. i don’t think it’s going to come as too much as a shock when i say this is goodbye from me. it’s pretty obvious my blog hasn’t been a consistent thing no matter how many times i attempt to come back 😅
i really can’t express how much blogging has helped me. yeah, it’s been really fucking stressful. it’s been me feeling like i’ve never been creative or unique or original enough, but the upsides have outweighed those negative ones so much. back in 2016 and 2017 my mental illness was at an all time high and blogging finally gave me some sense of routine and responsibility. it might sound overdramatic, but i felt like i had a reason to get out of bed? people were counting on me to post and publishers needed me to write reviews. of course, that led to anxiety but it also helped me on my continuous journey with recovery.
i have met so many amazing people and you are all truly so, so, wonderful. the dedication and passion you have for blogging and books is so inspiring to see. you have ALL taught me how to be a better version of myself. i have learnt and grow so much because of all of you 💞 and i’m so grateful.
i feel like it ultimately took me so long to make this decision because deciding to stop felt like i was confirming all the self doubts i had. it was like saying: “you failed”. i know that’s not true though and admitting i’m done has been liberating too because it’s okay to stop. it doesn’t mean i haven’t accomplished anything. i’ve done things i never thought i’d have ever done in my life like working with publishers. i still kind of can’t believe that.
next year i want to really try and focus on creating an online portfolio for myself. i might even turn it into a sort of design/resources blog. even offer things like wordpress themes when/if i’m eventually skilled enough 😂.
i still love reading. getting back to it has been the best ever. i’m still going to keep reading and talking about books on twitter. if you want to follow me on there please feel free! warning, i do tweet a lot about football and harry styles 💁🏻♀️ but if you want to say hi then pls do 💖!!! i have instagram as well (it’s personal though, not bookish). i think i’m being part of a blog tour for foul is fair next month (which y’all need to read wow its amazing!!) but that’s probably going to be my last post. i’m not deleting my blog because i put a lot of work into and it’s my baby and i still might pop in time to time to read your posts, but i won’t be making my own.
saying thank you isn’t enough, but: thank you!! i love you all so much and you’ve made these past few years amazing.